I’m afraid I’m a bit of an old stick in the mud when it comes to relationships. I don’t hold with these modern liberal views at all. A solid family life and the security of the children, must be ensured by the one partner rule. We cannot permit these pernicious inroads into family values, if the next generation are to survive until adulthood.
I lay down my pen to finish the letter to my Congress person later, as the demands of small people have reached fever pitch and full volume.
I dither what to do first? Which child has the more compelling argument? The loudest one wins, as I am out of ear plugs. Not so much the squeaky wheel as the blaring clarion call. Only one is about to expire from malnutrition but it’s as quick two make three snacks and might buy me some time. I wonder how much time costs these days? I decide that I need to become fabulously rich, preferably by tomorrow and then all my troubles will be over.
Wealthy people can employ other people to do the things that they have no time to do themselves. I could hire a shopper! That would be first on the list. Perhaps someone to come in and do the laundry? Better still. Someone else to do the driving, a chauffeur, preferably someone who could claim a tax rebate on their earplug use. What do they call those people? The new ones? Oh yes, house manager, I could definitely do with one of those. Do I need a gardener? No, I’ll keep that therapy for myself, but a handy man wouldn’t go amiss. No need for a dog walker but I might be able to find a child walker, or a personal trainer for them. Someone to put them through their paces. Probably cheaper than therapists anyway? If only, if only, if only. Then I would have time to do the really important things in life, like change the world or maybe just have a cup of tea in peace and quiet.
Where could I find such a person to fulfill all these tasks in a dutiful manner? A jack of all trades that could turn their hand to the multiplicity of complications of daily living? Of course! That’s what I need. Maybe I could find one on-line. Russia seems popular these days. I would willingly forgo the fame and fortune in favour of a wife.
There again, do I really wish to make myself redundant?