Whilst everyone in the world believes they have the right to criticize America, I personally feel that I have a superior right.
One area that is often neglected, is the subject of horticulture. This would be my primary area of complaint. Now I’d admit that I come from a country renowned for it’s gardening enthusiasts but really, what can I say?
Well, I’d start by saying that I had no idea that America was the primary home of Bonsai! Their proliferation is quite staggering. All those finely manicured front gardens bedecked with strangulated treelets, in such profusion. Whilst I’m not a gambling type myself, I would lay odds that there are more Bonsai in San Jose than in the entire Japanese nation.
What I wouldn’t say to those Americans, if I weren’t so polite!
Thus I anticipate the arrival of our English chums with glee. No need for translations! A day in the garden and a barbeque to boot. No mention of ‘yard’ because we are all metric. Bliss.
“Ooo Maddy the garden looks lovely.”
“The joy of sprinklers! Yours must be a picture back home at this time of year too.”
“Oh no. We don’t have any flowers.”
“This is like a huge field full of flowers. You have so many……..flowers. Acres of blooms.”
“About 30 square feet.”
“I can smell something……..burning.”
“Oh good. Lunch is ready.”