[a before photo x-ray]
7 months after jaw surgery I am suddenly free from wires and elastic bands. I can actually open my mouth. It is the strangest feeling. I decide to think about nice things. I decide not to think about "implants." I also decide not to think about the teeny tiny little screw that has decided to float away from it's original position. I determine that I will not "perseverate" about the traveling screw that holds the hardware in place that holds my jaw together. I remind myself that I am merely unlucky, that this kind of thing happens occasionally and is of no great consequence. I decide, again, not to think about the screw busily making it's way towards my brain. I remind myself that my brain is very tiny and the screw probably won't be able to find it. [translation = no GPS and I don't think my brain is magnetic, merely radio active after all the x-rays]
I open my mouth as wide as I can, just because I now can. [translation = free of braces and elastic bands] I test out the jaw to see if anything snaps. [translation = squeaks, pops or grinds – TMJ] How big is it? What could I get in there if I tried really hard? Does it open as wide as it once did? I have no recall. [translation = ever so tiny brain and shrinking] I wonder if I open it too wide, will I expedite the traveling speed of the teeny tiny screw?
It occurs to me, that an onlooker might be curious about my doings. Then I remember that the pool of potential onlookers is small. [translation = two autistic boys who are never curious about me or my doings because I am generally "invisible," that is to say, completely off their radars] I continue in goldfish mode as I fold laundry, wash dishes and mop the floor. [translation = silent chores so as not to ‘set off’ my sound sensitive son]
I try and think of large things that I could put in my mouth? [translation = now that I could, if I wanted to] What if I put something large in there and then I couldn’t get it out again? What if was too big to swallow too? I try and think of large, soft, swallowable things that I could put in my mouth. [translation = safe things that aren’t a choking hazard]
My jaw muscles are in training. Soon I will have the strongest jaw in Western civilization. I will be able to hang from a rope by my teeth. I may have a whole new career just around the corner. [translation = if everything works out and the children are grown]
I think very hard about future careers. What careers are available for a person wishing to hang by their teeth from a rope? It occurs to me that I should also work on my toes, that is to say, ensure that my toes work as well as my fingers do, such that I will have four sets of functional twiddlers at the end of each limb. It will be an incredible breakthrough. I will never need to use carbon paper in the typewriter again! I will simply type the original with my fingers and the copy, on a second typewriter with my toes. [translation = simultaneous transcription] I will be an incredible incredible!
What a shame that my budding career has been stolen by the advances in technology. [translation = pity someone invented computers] Perhaps I should visit a career counselor? [translation = or a shrink] Do they have them in "England."
Monday, July 23, 2007
[a before photo x-ray]
Posted by Maddy at 6:33 PM