I present myself in the "dental office" together with my heavy heart and a fake cheesy grin. I decide not to think about the "teeth nightmare."
Instead I study a group of recipes so that I can figure out if any of them will make cardoon acceptable to my "children’s palettes."
I’m in two minds about signing up for the "weekly organic box" of vegetables. On the one hand this presents the opportunity to grab a little healthy nutrition, support local growers, reduce our carbon footprint, get in touch with nature. On the other hand I have a fridge full of rotting produce to transfer to the compost heap. The death nell comes as they call my name. I submit to the summons.
I greet the dental surgeon agreeably and we exchange niceties whilst he prods my jaw with two 12 inch long Q-tips. He pauses, knuckles on hips, my moment of salvation, “I don’t normally bore people with my dreams but I need to tell you about my dream last night!” I burble.
“Nooo you’re dreaming about me now?”
“Yes, you are my own personal nightmare.”
“Oh come on!”
“Well, it went like this………I came to your office and you said “hi Madeline, whilst you were asleep I did another x-ray and do you know what? Something incredible has happened! Although your jaw rejected the implants, now it’s accepted them and all the bones have grown back. You are a medical miracle. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m going to write you up in the medical journal….’…….so if you’d like to do the decent thing and tell me that my dream has come true, that would just be all fine and dandy.”
“Fine and dandy?”
“Well……I must say, it does look as if the bone has in-filled.”
“In-filled? You mean grown back! I am a medical miracle!”
“Well not exactly a medical miracle.”
“Ooo but I am. First I was a reject and now I’m a bone grower!”
“Er well, that is what was supposed to happen in the first place.”
“I know, but it didn’t and now it has, so now I am a medical miracle.”
“It’s true. You just need to say it out loud so that I can hear it.”
“Well I can’t really because it’s more of a spontaneous reversal.”
“Write it down then so that I can read it, no….....that’s too permanent, you’ll just have to say it, I won’t tell anyone…….......honest!”
“I want you to go home now and bite something, just for me.”
Now I think that is something I might do!
Meanwhile, in my other "life" it might be fair to say that perhaps "maternal anxiety" is in part caused, or exacerbated by the challenges of autism?