Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Slippery Siren

I lean on the door jam and slap serum on my face. I have no hope of rejuvenation but I need to demonstrate my appreciation of a gift. I look across at him, deflated and defeated on the tumble drier, surrounded with a plethora of tools.
“No luck then?”
“Nope…….they deliberately design these things to make them inaccessible.”
“Forced to use the call out guy then?”
“No……..I’m going to get in there somehow or other.”
“I have my new tin opener if you’re desperate?”
“Permanently removing the back of the tumbler is not a solution.”
“Ooo I don’t know. We need the front …..and the sides……..but I don’t really think we need the back. If we leave it off it will be easier to fix next time.”
“The back is an integral part to maintain the structure.”
“Ah….”
“What’s that pong?”
“The new face cream…….see…….I’m using it…….it’s quite lovely.”
“Doesn’t half honk though.”
“Don’t you like it?”
“Fruity yet.........smells like something’s died.”
“?”
“Here……give me a hand…….pull on that corner and we’ll see if anything fallen behind.”
“I can’t get a grip, my hands are all slimy now.”
“Stand back then, I don’t want to knock you.”
We peer at the back wall behind the tumbler.
“What do you think that is?”
“I have no idea. Looks like a tongs and rubber glove jobby to me.”
“It looks like a petrified banana.”
“But that wouldn’t smell……..would it?”
“There’s a hellava lot of …….food down here. Look! That used to be a grape.”
“What’s the old toilet plunger doing there?”
“I think we can safely say that we’ve found his new hidey hole.”
“For both the precious and the "discards.”

10 comments:

Almost American said...

Did himself look for 'destructions' online for fixing the dryer? I bet he could find some that would help - like this for example. Of course, there is a disclaimer in loud red capital letters:
IF YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO REPAIR YOUR DRYER YOURSELF, BE
AWARE THAT YOU ARE WORKING WITH POTENTIAL DANGEROUS ELECTRICAL
CURRENTS THAT CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. BE AWARE THAT
APPLIANCES HAVE EXTREMELY SHARP EDGES AND MOVING PARTS THAT CAN
CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH.

Marita said...

Oh I do so love finding those hidey spots. Currently we have a rather unpleasant ant infestation. The upside is I can follow their trails to find hidden food. So that is a good thing, kinda, sorta, not really but I'm trying to look on the bright side of ant infestations.

Expat mum said...

Ha ha. I couldn't get out of the loo (sorry bathroom) this morning as I'd slathered my hands with posh hand cream and then couldn't grip the door knob. Finally used loo paper to get a grip!

buffalodick said...

Under our fridge is where you don't go...

Whitenoise said...

Appliance repair... yes, been there, done that- with limited success. It's the belt tensioner that always confounds me. Still squeals like a banshee when the machine starts but, hey, it works...

Holly Nappi Collins said...

my dryer doesnt work either, nor does my washer--well they work but not quite right--I have to physically wring out the clothes because the spin cycle doesnt want to do it for me... and my dryer doesnt appreciate the extra work so it stays on permanently--i have to rememeber to turn it off... or else...but I'm not giving in, nope I'm holding out!!

movin' down the road said...

I love it. the serum part makes me crack up.

All Rileyed Up said...

Fruity yet smells like something died. I enjoying trying to imagine this scent.

CHEWY said...

(tee-hee) Did you try slapping some serum on the tumbler to rejuvenate it?

lu said...

Oh, don't you love how one problems opens the door to ano and ther to solve. Come fix my washer! I'm stuck with only one cycle- delicate